I’m not ready for it to be over. I’m not ready to be alone. I’m not ready to say good bye.
Back in July, a time when I desperately needed to feel included and a part of something bigger than me, I met an amazing group of people. I met the Pocono Mountain East Field Hockey Team. I’ve spent the better part of the last 4.5 months with this team. No matter what was happening in my personal life, they have remained the constant. I have looked forward to practices and games; opportunities to be outside and have fun. To move and feel alive.
Today, this team defied the odds and represented PME in the district championship for the first time in school history (that I am aware of). The weather couldn’t have been any more perfect. The girls were nervous, but excited; coaches too. We came out strong, scoring the first goal of the game. But, in the end, it wouldn’t be enough. The final score was 2-1. Although we didn’t win, the girls played their hearts out and it was a GREAT game.
But now. Even as I sit on the bus on the way home, I am already feeling the sense of loss over not having practices and games to look forward to; The loss of regular interaction with others. Although a break will be a welcome experience, what will happen once that ‘break’ is over?
My life will once again be work (in an office mostly by myself) and home. I still haven’t found a new church, and that pain is still a somewhat fresh wound on my heart. So, finding a new church has been difficult, to say the least.
I know I’m not alone in saying being single, living far away from friends and family, and depression do not mix well. Here’s hoping I can find ways to socialize and be inclusive, while not ‘avoiding.’
Is it July yet? PME FH ‘21 ❤️🖤
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